Purgatory
by sentinel10
Summary: She couldn't... because even though she was leaving him, she was still in love with him. And for that she was in Hell. Leah


**I do not own Twilight**

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**~Purgatory~**

_A place or condition of suffering or torment, especially one that is temporary_

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Jacob walked through the dark house noticing that only the bedroom light seemed to be on. He could feel the tension in the air, as his heavy footsteps echoed through the house. He could smell her intoxicating scent. She was definitely in the bedroom. He could smell the faint lavender shampoo she used every morning to tame her long black wavy hair.

Jacob exhaled a long deep breathe before slowly inching the door open. The light almost blinded him, before his wolf sense kicked in, allowing his pupils to dilate and adjust to the sudden swarm of light, compared to the darkness of the woods and the rest of the house.

Leah sat on the bed with hot tears running down her red cheeks. She knew she was making the right decision. It hurt like fucking hell, but it hurt more to sit and pretend like everything was okay. Her long eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut, wiping her face with the back of her hand, before looking up at him.

Jacob stood in the doorway, looking over at Leah sitting on the end of the bed. He could tell she had been crying again and he couldn't help but feel a small ache in his heart. He had hurt her again, he hadn't meant to but it kept on happening.

Jacob looked down at her feet, noticing a small duffel bag that used to belong to Harry Clearwater, full and packed. Jacob glanced back at her after she wiped her tears away and his eyebrows pushed together in confusion. Jacob took a glance around the room and noticed several things he hadn't noticed when he first walked in.

The small cupboard doors where open, slightly ajar, and he could see that where her clothes would hang, it was empty. He noticed that her small wooden jewellery box that sat on the mahogany dresser was missing and that the photo of the two of them taken over 4 years ago was smashed on the wooden floor boards next to the bed.

Jacob could feel his body quake, because he _knew_ what was happening. She was leaving but more importantly she was leaving _him_.

"Lee-" He said softly, taking baby steps towards her. "What is this?" He asked in a tender voice.

Leah sat on the end of the bed, shaking her head softly and swallowing before she spoke. "Seth will be here soon Jake. I am going to stay with him and Amy." Leah said staring at the wall in front of her. She could feel the heat of sadness radiate from her face, attempting not to let him see her cry anymore. Jacob Black had stolen so many tears over the years; Leah doubted she would even have any left.

"What are you saying?" Jacob said kneeling down in front of her, squeezing her knee caps softly, trying to make the room stop spinning around him. He felt like he was drunk and that the world had somehow tipped on its side, shifting his whole universe.

Leah looked at Jacob and felt her heart tear in two pieces. She had told him over a year ago that she wouldn't be able to take much more of him, and the things he was doing to her. She had cried so many nights, as she lay alone in bed, waiting for him to come home. He was supposed to be her partner, not spending his time with _her_. Jacob was supposed to keep her safe, warm, and love her and only her. But the truth was he didn't and she couldn't wait. She had given him 5 years to fight against the imprint, but now time was running out… time _had _run out.

"I am leaving Jake" She said softly, as he laid his head on her lap. She could feel his body shaking, and she could smell the salt of his tears staining her jeans. She couldn't help but run her delicate hands through his soft jet black hair, comforting him as she had done for all the years.

Jacob squeezed his arms tightly around her calves and buried his head in her lap. He couldn't hold back the tears ripping through his human form as the pain and sadness ripped through him.

"Please Lee. Please don't leave _me_. I need you" He cried into her lap.

Leah felt the hot burn of her tears resurface as she ran one hand through his hair and another down his neck and shoulders. Leah didn't want to leave, but what other option did she have. She was sick of being alone and afraid he would forget about her altogether. She didn't deserve to be awake at all hours of the night, crying into her pillow and comforter, for a man that wasn't hers.

Over the years the apologies of _'I am sorry, I forgot'_ and _'I promise it won't happen again'_ had begun to feel like a broken record. It was always the same. He would leave for a couple of days, while Leah worried about how he was and then he would finally stumble back home and act as if nothing happened and that everything was fine between them.

"Please Lee, I promise it won't happen again. I love you" Jacob cried again into her lap, trying to making her understand that he didn't want her to go and that he had fucked up again and would make it up to her. Jacob couldn't imagine his life without her. She had been everything in life and he didn't want to lose the one thing that he _had_ chosen. That _he_ had a choice over. She had been his choice. But _fate_ of course had different plans.

Leah let out a small sob before cupping his tear stained face and bringing it up to hers. Her eyes flicked between his right and left orb and sighed. She slowly inched her face down and kissed him softly on his full lips, lingering a moment before pulling away to rest her forehead against his.

Jacob reached up and cupped her face too, mimicking the same gesture. Had life been different, had life given him a fighting chance, he _knew_ she would have been his first choice.

"Jacob, please don't make this any harder for me than it already is" Leah whispered sending her warm sweet breath over his face. "You can't promise me that Jacob, you can't promise me anything like that because I will _always_ be second best to her. To us. You have to _let_ me go. You're hurting me so bad. I need to leave Jake, your _breaking_ my heart. Sometimes I don't know when or _if_ you're ever coming to come back through that door once you leave to go and see her. I can't wait for you Jacob. I have given you 5 years and now I can't give you anymore of me. There's not enough left. I love you Jake, and I have always put you first. If you can't return the same curtsey to me I have to find someone that will." Leah took a deep breath and continued.

"You've missed everything Jake. Your daughter cries for you at night, and she calls out to her daddy and most times you're not even here. I have to bring her to our bed just so she can sleep, so she can smell you and make believe you are here with us. It's not fair to you Jake, I know that, but imagine how _Lana_ feels… how _I_ feel. You weren't here when she said her first word, you weren't here when she took her first steps, and you weren't even here for her when she had her first birthday. I am truly sorry Jacob, but _now_ I am putting our daughter first."

Leah removed her hands from Jacob when she heard him growl low in his throat. He pushed himself up, placing his hands on the side of her, to use the bed as leverage. The blood was coursing through his veins at the anger he felt. He couldn't believe she wanted to _leave_ him... and take _his_ daughter with her.

"No" Jacob hissed at her as he got up and moved to the side of the bed, ripping the lamp out of the wall and throwing it on the hard wooden floor. "NO!" He yelled at her again bunching his fist together, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to reel back his anger.

Leah timidly picked up the duffel bag and walked to the door. But Jacob was fast and shut the door before she could open it and walk out. He used his large arms to box her in and stop her from making any more movements to leave.

Leah stared at him with wide eyes as he shook in front of her, threatening to phase, while she was caught in the tight space. She narrowed her eyes at him and spoke in a deadly calm voice. "Jake, move away from me, you're going to hurt me"

Jacob didn't flinch. All her could hear was his heart beat in his head. His thoughts were spinning out of control and he couldn't bear to watch her walk away from him.

"Jacob, you're going to hurt me like Sam hurt Emily. Please let me go" Jacob immediately stopped and backed away from her. He took a controlled step back before, stepping forward and grasping her hands in his and clutching them tightly.

"Lee don't do this. Please… don't do this to us, to our family." He pleaded with her, so he could make some kind of sense from this madness.

Leah pried her hands out of his grip and looked over the man that had been her shining light, her guardian angel, her dead calm in the storm. With quivering eyes and shaking hands she went to reach back out to him, but she stopped midway. She slowly curled her fingers into her palm to stop herself reaching out to him, and holding him. She couldn't do that. By doing that she would make all of the memories of when they were young, of when they had so much to look forward to, when they were a family.

Leah hadn't asked much of Jacob. She only, had always wanted one thing from Jacob, one thing for her and her daughter, she remembered the day she told him and she remembered his answer so clearly the pain of it rippled through her spine. She had told him 'All I ask is that you are here for _us_ Jacob please, be here' he had answered in his honey smoothed voice 'Always Leah. Always'.

Jacob watched as Leah reached for the bedroom doorknob and turning it slowly, making it feel as if his pain was being played out in slow motion making it ten times more agonising to watch.

"Leah, think about this please… you'll never find someone that loves you as much as I do" He said softly. He watched her hand freeze on the half turned knob.

Leah didn't turn around when she answered him in barely a whisper. "I may _not_ find someone that _loves_ me as much as you do, but I _will_ definitely find someone who _won't_ hurt me as much as _you_ do."

Leah turned the knob, walked out of the room and shut the door behind her leaving Jacob in the bedroom, still standing watching the door.

Jacob closed his eyes tightly as the tears ran down his face, before he dropped to his knees, burying his face in his forearms on the hard wood floor.

Leah made her way quickly into Lana's room. She could see from the crack in the door, that the toddler was standing up in her crib, sucking happily on her pink dummy, reaching for her spinning 'Winnie the Pooh' mobile hanging above her. The nightlight gave off enough light for Leah to slip into the room without turning on the light.

"Mumma" Lana cried happily spitting out her dummy and reaching her chubby hands up to be picked up. Leah moved the duffle bag on to her other shoulder, picking up Lana and holding her close to her chest. She reached down and grabbed Lana's dummy and tucked it in her pocket.

Leah walked over to the change table and grabbed to nappy bag, with some of Lana's belongings in it and slung it over the same shoulder as the duffle bag, making sure she had a good grip on her daughter. Leah kissed her forehead and briskly moved to the stairs.

She could here Jacobs sobs and him crying out for her as she moved past the bedroom door and down the stairs. Leah's heart lurched as her daughters head whipped around and pointed to the door.

"Da- daddy-dad" Lana cried out happily, as tears fell from Leah's eyes. Lana looked at Leah and her bottom lip began to tremble as she looked between mother and at the door she knew her father was behind.

Leah acted quickly whispering low to her daughter. "it's okay baby, where going on a holiday, just me and you, Lana and Mumma" Leah said trying to wipe her tears away. Lana pressed her eyebrows together and looked back up the stairs smiling "Daddy?" She asked, her little brown orbs shinning with excitement. Her little white jumpsuit, matching her perfect russet skin, as her jet black piggy tails bounced happily.

Leah shook her head. "No baby, just Lana and Mumma. Daddy has to stay here. We are going with Uncy Seth"

Lana's lip trembled again and her eyes quivered as tears fell down her small cheeks. Lana let out an ear piercing cry and began to reach back towards the stairs for her father. "Da – Daddy – Daddy" She screamed as Leah tried to calm her.

"Please Lana please be good for Mumma" Lead pleaded with the two year old. Lana continued to scream for her father as Leah reached out and grasped her little hands to make her stop squirming in Leah's embrace.

Leah's ears perked up when she heard the sound of Seth's truck beep its horn.

"Baby, please, you will see him again, just not right now. Me and you are going to have fun La-La, come on, Uncle Seth is waiting"

Leah reached for the front door, jumping when she heard Jacob screaming her name and smashing the bedroom furniture to pieces. She tried to cover Lana's ears but the toddler screamed louder and louder, frightened by the sounds. Leah ran out to the car, not caring that the dew on the grass was freezing and not bothering to slip shoes on.

She quickly put Lana in Seth's son's car seat and strapped her in.

"Seth quick, we have to go!" She yelled over Lana's cries.

Seth scurried over to his sister taking her bags and throwing them into the trucks tray under the trap cover.

"What the fuck Leah? What the hell is happening here?" Seth said in a deathly whisper.

"LEAH! LEE… FUCK!" Jacob voice boomed from the house. Seth froze in his seat as he watched the dresser fly out of the bedroom window from the second floor, sending glass spiralling on to the grass and shattering the wood as it hit the hard ground.

"You know what's going on Seth" Leah hissed over her daughters screams. "Please just… let's go" She said as hot tears assaulted her face.

"Ok. Ok. Where going" Seth said as his foot punched down on the accelerator.

Leah felt her chest tighten as the car inched out of the driveway, away from her home and away from Jacob. She held a hand over her chest and clutched the seat belt that lay there. She could still hear Jacob's screams for her not to go, and for her to come back to him, but she didn't turn her head to look at _him_ or _their_ house once.

She _couldn't_.

She couldn't because even though _she_ was leaving _him_, she was still in _love _with him_._

And for that she was in _Hell_.

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_I can't lie, I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not  
No matter how I try  
I'll never be able to give you something;  
something that I just haven't got_

_I remember how she left me on a stormy night  
she kissed me and got out of our bed  
and though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door  
she packed her bags and turned right away_

_~Meatloaf~_

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AN- I am sad now :(

I am sorry for this crazy one-shot. I cried *clears throat* A little!

Love you all!

More updates or one-shots to come tomorrow! Yay! *claps*


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